Integrity Ideas are specific actions a leader can consider during the Re-Align step of Integriosity^®–actions that will begin to Re-Align the organization with Biblical beliefs, principles and priorities.  You can find more Integrity Ideas at Integrous | Integrity Ideas (integriosity.com)

INTEGRITY IDEA: Ace Apologies

In our last post, we talked about faithful leaders taking the time to say, “Good Morning”. This post is focused on an equally free and even more important communication. “Ace Apologies” is about a faithful leader saying, “I’m Sorry.”

Integrity Ideas are practical actions toward implementing a bigger WHY for the organization.  Some are helpful ideas to consider as a faithful leader prayerfully discerns the best stewardship of the organization. Others are necessary steps in the RENEW/RE-ALIGN/RE-IMAGINE/RESTORE process.

“Ace Apologies” is in the “necessary” category. A sincere apology is not as simple as a sincere greeting, but the consequences of a bad apology (or no apology) are likely to be worse than the consequences of a bad greeting (or no greeting).

We all know the importance to human relationships of apologies. In his book, All I really Needed to Know I learned in Kindergarten, #7 in author Robert Fulghum’s list is “Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.”

Most people recognize a bad apology when they hear one. “Mistakes were made.” “I’m sorry if anyone was offended.” “I’m sorry you were hurt.” These statements acknowledge that something went wrong, but they avoid responsibility and rarely lead to healing. A Biblical apology is very different.

In Matthew 5:23-24, Jesus teaches the importance and priority of repairing a relationship with another person:

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Apologies are necessary to restore broken relationships, and in an organizational culture that prioritizes relationships, community, human dignity and flourishing, it is important for leaders to model Biblical apologies that are honest, heartfelt, and healing.

The Power of Words

The Bible tells us that words have the power to give life or bring death (Proverbs 18:21), build up or corrupt (Ephesians 4:29), bring health (Proverbs 16:24), or destroy (Proverbs 11:9; Matthew 12:36-37).

Like “Morning Manners Matter,” “Ace Apologies” recognizes the power of words to heal or destroy relationships, build or erode community, and promote or discourage flourishing. It says to people, “Our relationship matters to me.” It proclaims that respecting a fellow human being as someone made in God’s image and loving them as a neighbor is more important than preserving the leader’s image and reputation.

A Biblical apology is not about protecting reputation. It is about restoring relationship.

The Nature of a Biblical Apology

We believe a Biblical apology must be honest, heartfelt and healing.

Honest. An honest apology acknowledges the mistake or transgression that caused harm.  It names the wrong, explains the transgressors responsibility for the wrong, and doesn’t try to make excuses.  Proverbs 28:13 warns:

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.

Heartfelt. A heartfelt apology comes from a place of humility and caring for the person wronged.  It is not motivated by a desire to absolve or protect the person apologizing. It is not a passing “Sorry”–or what some call a “drive-by apology.”

At the heart of a Biblical apology is the “first thing” embedded in the word Integriosity that is the key to understanding the HOW of the other three “first things”.  “Humility” is the first thing needed to live out the first things of Righteousness, Kingdom and Love—and it is the key to Wisdom. In fact, we believe leadership without Humility is antithetical to leading an organization with faithful integrity.

Healing. A Biblical apology prioritizes the healing of the relationship. Healing requires a commitment by the person apologizing both to prevent future harm and to take positive steps to rebuild trust. It also requires shifting power to the person who was hurt by giving them the opportunity to forgive—or not forgive. A sincere apology relinquishes control of the outcome. The sincerest request for forgiveness is an open-handed request, not a “yes-or-no” question that demands a response. James 5:16 tells us:

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.

Biblical Examples

Scripture gives us numerous examples of apologies:

• The Prodigal Son.  When the formerly prideful son returns in Luke 15, he recognizes his wrongdoing, takes responsibility, makes no excuses, humbly repents, and even planned to offer to be treated as a hired servant.

I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you.I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.” (Luke 15:18-19)

• Jacob. When Jacob is about to meet his brother Esau years after Jacob deceived him, Jacob offered Esau a gift and humbly bowed several times before Esau.

He himself went on before them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother. (Genesis 33:3)

• Joseph’s Brothers. After Jacob dies, Joseph’s brothers admit to Joseph the evil they did to him when he was young and beg for his forgiveness.

Please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father. (Genesis 50:17)

• Zacchaeus.  After Jesus calls Zacchaeus the tax collector down from a tree, Zacchaeus makes a heartfelt offer of healing and restoration for his wrongs.

And Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor. And if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I restore it fourfold.” (Luke 19:8)

None of these apologies perfectly reflects every element of an “Ace Apology.” Joseph’s brothers and Jacob apologized out of fear.  The Prodigal Son was humbled by his hunger. And Zacchaeus’s “If” doesn’t quite own up to how he had cheated people. But taken together, we can see the contours of honest, heartfelt and healing.

Modern Day Examples

Corporations and corporate leaders frequently find themselves in situations where “acing” an apology would be the right path.

Johnson & Johnson. The response often cited as the gold standard of corporate responses to a difficult situation happened in 1982 when cyanide-laced capsules of Tylenol killed several people.

Johnson & Johnson expressed genuine concern for its customers and took responsibility for protecting them even though the company had no role in the poisoning. They took prompt action, recalling 31 million bottles of Tylenol and halting advertising. They also introduced tamper-proof packaging to prevent future tampering and regain the trust of their customers.

Executives noted that the Johnson & Johnson credo, penned decades earlier by Robert Wood Johnson, guided their response.  The credo starts:

We believe our first responsibility is to the patients, doctors and nurses, to mothers and fathers and all others who use our products and services.

The credo goes on to explain responsibility to business partners, employees, and communities, and ends with, “Our final responsibility is to our stockholders.”

Not every corporate apology reflects that kind of humility and responsibility.

BP. The response often cited as an example of a poor apology is the statement of BP CEO Tony Hayward in 2010 following an oil spill caused by an explosion on the drilling rig Deepwater Horizon.

In making his apology, Hayward said, “There’s no one who wants this over more than I do. I’d like my life back.”  To many, it did not come across as heartfelt or healing. Rather than focusing on the victims, Hayward made it about himself and the hardship caused to him as the CEO.

CONTINUUM: People

The Integriosity model organizes “heart change” along six Covert-Overt Continuums.  There is nothing magic about these categories, but we believe they are helpful in thinking about practical execution of a Re-Imagined Purpose, Re-Imagined Values and a Re-Imagined Culture.  The Continuums are Prayer, Proclamation, Policies, Practices, Products, People.

Each Continuum represents an area in which leaders can begin to think about, plan and institute Re-Alignment changes to the heart of the organization.

“Ace Apologies” is on the People Continuum. It is not about organizational practices or formal policies. It is about a faithful leader caring about repairing relationships with other people, whether employees, customers, suppliers, owners or the community.

COVERT-OVERT RATING: Highly Covert

The Integriosity model breaks the Covert-Overt Continuums into six gradations–from Highly Covert to Highly Overt–that we believe are helpful in beginning to pray and think about what is most appropriate for an organization at a particular moment in time.

Most Integrity Ideas have one place on the scale.  Some can vary depending on how they are implemented.  We identify “Ace Apologies” as Highly Covert (An action that would be taken by a secular company) because it is something every leader should implement to restore relationships with the people who are touched by an organization.

“Ace Apologies” can be moved toward the Overt end of the Continuum by, for example, explaining its Biblical foundations or tying it to a business a better way culture aligned with Biblical beliefs, principles and priorities.

STAKEHOLDERS SERVED: Employees, Customers/Clients, Owners, Suppliers/Vendors, Community and Kingdom

When we categorize faith-based actions, we also consider the stakeholders principally impacted by the action: Employees, Customers/Clients, Owners, Suppliers/Vendors, Community and Kingdom.

“Ace Apologies” can serve any stakeholder with whom the leader or the organization has a relationship. By restoring relationships, it also serves God’s Kingdom.

IMPLEMENTATION

Although saying “Sorry” may have been a simple lesson taught in kindergarten, making a Biblical apology that is honest, heartfelt, and healing requires reflection and prayer. For a faithful leader committed to implementing “Ace Apologies”, a good place to start is rereading our posts on developing Biblical EQ. and Humility.

Humility is a prerequisite to an apology that is honest and heartfelt, particularly when made by a leader. Apologies by a leader that fail at being honest and heartfelt are apologies that have not overcome the leader’s pride or are crafted to protect the leader’s worldly status, image, reputation, or position.  Every leader must choose whether to give in to pride in pursuing their own kingdom (business as usual) or to embrace Humility in pursuing God’s Kingdom (business a better way).

Humility is knowing who you are in relation to God’s creation and His plan, knowing who you are in relation to others, and knowing who you are in relation to God.  Such an understanding permits leadership in service to a bigger WHY of serving others.

We believe communications that reflect Biblical EQ help immeasurably in helping people feel valued (because it prioritizes understanding before seeking to be understood) and in helping people feel they have a voice (because it prioritizes listening and understanding).  An apology that is healing must first be an apology that is listening and understanding.

In a WorkLife podcast, Dr. Beth Polin, a professor of management at Eastern Kentucky University, helpfully suggests that the best apologies share six elements:

• Regret.  The person apologizing expresses regret for the wrong done.

• Rationale. The person apologizing explains their role in the wrong. She notes that an apology risks being perceived as an excuse if the person blames external factors.

• Responsibility. The person apologizing takes ownership for the wrong.

• Repentance. The person apologizing commits to do better in the future.

• Repair. The person apologizing takes action to begin to restore trust.

• Request. The person apologizing asks for forgiveness, putting the power back in the hands of the person hurt to forgive or not forgive.

Scripture clearly calls for forgiveness as we have been forgiven, but this is for the person wronged and is not part of the apology.  Reminding the person wronged of the need to Scriptural call to forgive would undermine the healing element of the apology.

“Ace Apologies” may have its roots in the kindergarten playground, but it goes way beyond the simple “Sorry” of childhood and the prideful and protective apologies of the way of the kingdom of the world. It is about a faithful leader modeling the four “first things” of Righteousness, Kingdom, Love and Humility in a way that RESTORES–the fourth step in the process of Integriosity.

RESTORE is about seeing the bigger WHY’s of work and business materialize and manifest in an organization that has been RE-IMAGINED and RE-ALIGNED with Biblical beliefs, principles and priorities based upon a RENEWED understanding of God’s purpose for work and business.  It is the narrow “ancient path” back to our design–back to our humanity, back to beauty and back to our ultimate purpose of glorying the God in whose image we were created.

RESTORE is called a “step” in the Integriosity process, but it is really the product of the first three steps–it is the fruit. That fruit can be seen in People, in the Organization and in Work Relationships.  It is people Humanized, the world Beautified and God Glorified.  The fruit of faithful integrity through business a better way toward Biblical flourishing–the fruit of Integriosity–is to participate in God’s restoration plan for His Kingdom.

PERSONAL NOTE (from PM):  When our family lived in London, we sometimes joked about the British way of describing accidents. Instead of “I broke the glass,” someone might say, “The glass broke.” The event is acknowledged, but the person responsible disappears.

I have gotten better at apologizing, but I could be much better at my apologies.  The need to excuse or defend still creeps in. The need to listen could be better.

I think apologies can be like love–our human instinct can be to withhold love if we are not receiving love in return.  It can be harder to apologize to someone who you believe owes you an apology, either for the same situation or for something unrelated.  But that is not God’s way.  “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

ESSENCE:  Integrity Ideas are specific practical actions a faithful leader can consider in leading faithfully through business a better way.

INTEGRITY IDEA: Ace Apologies

In our last post, we talked about faithful leaders taking the time to say, “Good Morning”. This post is focused on an equally free and even more important communication. “Ace Apologies” is about a faithful leader saying, “I’m Sorry.” A sincere apology is not as simple as a sincere greeting, and the consequences of a bad apology (or no apology) are likely to be worse than the consequences of a bad greeting (or no greeting).  Apologies are necessary to restore broken relationships, and in an organizational culture that prioritizes relationships, community, human dignity and flourishing, it is important for leaders to model Biblical apologies that are honest, heartfelt, and healing, and that relinquish control of the outcome. At the heart of a Biblical apology is the “first thing” embedded in the word Integriosity that is the key to understanding the HOW of the other three first things.  “Humility” is the first thing needed to live out the first things of Righteousness, Kingdom and Love—and it is the key to Wisdom. Leadership without Humility is antithetical to leading an organization with faithful integrity.

COVERT-OVERT CONTINUUM (six Continuums for action): People

COVERT-OVERT RATING (several levels from Highly Covert to Highly Overt): Highly Covert

STAKEHOLDERS SERVED: Employees, Customers/Clients, Owners, Suppliers/Vendors, Community, Kingdom

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Photo credit: Original image by Cup of Couple: https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-of-conceptual-note-6633009/ (photo cropped)