#278 – Integrity Idea 078: Don’t Settle for “Gold”

Integrity Ideas are specific actions a leader can consider during the Re-Align step of Integriosity®–actions that will begin to Re-Align the organization with Biblical beliefs, principles and priorities.  You can find more Integrity Ideas at Integrous | Integrity Ideas (integriosity.com)

INTEGRITY IDEA: Don’t Settle for “Gold”

“Don’t Settle for Gold” is about cultivating an organizational culture in which people are motivated and equipped to go beyond the Golden Rule in human interactions. It is helping people recognize the Imago Dei in others and live the commandment to love others as God has loved them, not merely as they would like to be loved.

It recognizes that Jesus raised the bar with what he called a “new commandment”.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. (John 13:34)

Integrity Ideas are practical actions toward implementing a bigger WHY for the organization.  We believe some are critical (and necessary) steps in the RENEW/RE-ALIGN/RE-IMAGINE/RESTORE process.  Others are just ideas to be considered if they feel like a good fit based on what leaders prayerfully discern is best for stewarding the organization toward its WHY.

“Don’t Settle for Gold” falls into the “necessary” category for faithful leaders and in the “if it fits” category for others in the organization.  A faithful leader pursuing faithful integrity toward Biblical flourishing should seek to love as God loves and lead as Jesus led.  While leading a business with faithful integrity through business a better way toward Biblical flourishing requires cultivating a culture that reflects and prioritizes Biblical concepts of relationships, community, human dignity, and flourishing, embracing “Don’t Settle for Gold” for employees contemplates a more overt proclamation of the Biblical source of communication and interpersonal skills and the importance of a third God-dimension to relationships.

The Golden Rule

It may seem odd to think of “gold” as settling.  “Gold” is a worldwide symbol for excellence. Athletes can’t win any greater honor than a “Gold Medal”.  Teachers give “Gold Stars” for excellent performance. Best practices in industry are referred to as the “Gold Standard”.  As a precious metal, gold has underpinned world currencies as a guaranty of stability and creditworthiness. But our reference to “Gold” is to the “Golden Rule”–“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Most people are familiar with the Golden Rule, even if they are Biblically illiterate.  It has roots in the Old Testament and was quoted by Jesus.

You shall love your neighbor as yourself. (Leviticus 19:18)

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 7:12)

And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. (Luke 6:31)

The spirit of the Golden Rule is also found in other faith traditions:

Confucianism: “Do not impose on others what you do not wish for yourself.” (Analects 15:24)

Buddhism: “Treat not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.” (Udana-Varga 5.18)

Hinduism: This is the sum of duty: do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you.” (Mahabharata 5:1517)

Islam: “None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself.” (Hadith, Sahih al-Bukhari 13)

The Golden Rule has been a guide for ethical behavior for centuries.  There are faith/work ministries built around the Golden Rule as the ultimate answer to faith/work integration.  Tim Keller has called it one of the “first order beliefs” that God has written on the heart of each person.  We just know it is the right thing to do.  In the words of C.S. Lewis:

Human beings, all over the earth, have this curious idea that they ought to behave in a certain way, and cannot really get rid of it. . . .  The Golden Rule of the New Testament (Do as you would be done by) is a summing up of what every one, at bottom, had always known to be right.

Beyond Gold

Milton Bennett is credited with coining the term “Platinum Rule” in a 1979 (or possibly even 1966) essay titled “Overcoming the Golden Rule: Sympathy and Empathy“.   Bennett writes:

Approaching people as if they are different from us allows us to generate an addition to the Golden Rule.  It is the Platinum Rule, which could state, “Do unto others as they themselves would have done unto them.” Through empathy, we at least can be aware of how others would like to be treated from their own perspectives. We may not want or be able to provide that treatment, but the very act of acknowledging the difference and attempting empathy is profoundly respectful and affirming of others.  of Course, it is that respect for the equal (but different) humanity of others that was probably the original intent of the Golden Rule.

Bennett’s Platinum Rule requires empathy, which itself requires emotional intelligence or “EQ”.

We believe the New Commandment in John 13:34 raises the bar even further for relationships and communications.  Whereas the Golden Rule only requires a person to understand their own needs and desires, and the Platinum Rule requires someone to understand the other person’s needs and desires, the New Commandment requires emulating how God would love the other person.

The New Commandment calls for understanding as God understands and then loving as God loves. That requires an understanding of Biblical beliefs, principles and priorities as well as a relationship with God.  A person is incapable of loving as God loves if they have never felt God’s love.

For a faithful leader seeking to lead with faithful integrity, “Don’t Settle for Gold” requires an understanding of the importance of healthy communication and interpersonal skills to the functioning of an organization of humans and to the interactions of those humans with all the people the organization touches.

In a sermon titled “What’s New about the “New” Commandment? – John 13:34-35“, Sam Storms brilliantly summarizes what it looks like to love as Jesus loved.  To paraphrase Storms’ conclusion:

• Love by forgiving.

• Love by serving one another in humility.

• Love by generously giving.

• Love by patiently bearing with one another through mistakes.

• Love by deferring to one another in humility and seeking their best interests above our own.

• Love by speaking the truth in love.

• Love by refusing to isolate ourselves from others.

• Love by being willing to suffer inconveniences and interruptions in our schedules to serve and encourage others.

• Love by not turning away from or scorning those who differ from us on secondary theological matters.

• Love by trying to preserve the bond of the unity of the Holy Spirit.

• Love by praying for others.

• Love by enabling others to enjoy Jesus.

Storms quotes the early church father Tertullian describing the spread of Christianity:

It is mainly the deeds of a love so noble that lead many to put a brand upon us. “See,” they say, “[see] how they love one another, . . . How they are ready even to die for one another!”

For the faithful leader, it requires, at a minimum, personally seeking to live out the New Commandment in relationships and in leadership. Implementing “Don’t Settle for Gold” organizationally means going beyond embedding Biblical concepts of relationships, community, human dignity, and flourishing into the organization’s culture–it requires a more overt effort to help people understand how God loves.

CONTINUUM: Practices

The Integriosity model organizes “heart change” along six Covert-Overt Continuums.  There is nothing magic about these categories, but we believe they are helpful in thinking about practical execution of a Re-Imagined Purpose, Re-Imagined Values and a Re-Imagined Culture.  The Continuums are Prayer, Proclamation, Policies, Practices, Products, People.

Each Continuum represents an area in which leaders can begin to think about, plan and institute Re-Alignment changes to the heart of the organization.

“Don’t Settle for Gold” is on Practices Continuums.  Practices reflect, and at the same time help shape and reinforce, an organization’s culture.  Purpose and values define the culture of an organization; the culture shapes the behavior of the people in the organization; and the behavior of the people drives the results of the organization.  On the Practices Continuum, “Don’t Settle for Gold” embodies Biblical beliefs, principles and priorities that an organization must seek to embed in its culture if it is committed to operating with faithful integrity through business a better way toward Biblical flourishing.

“Don’t Settle for Gold” could also be on Proclamation Continuum to the extent it is implemented through Biblically explicit training for employees.  Proclamation involves actions that share Biblical faith messages with those who may not have a Biblical faith.  Biblical EQ training, for example, would likely involve sharing that the organization is committed to a Biblically-based vision around communication and interpersonal skills and their importance to a culture that prioritizes relationships, community and human dignity; how those concepts align with Biblical values; and how “Biblical EQ” differs from what is the more common worldly understanding of “EQ”.

COVERT-OVERT RATING: Very Covert

The Integriosity model breaks the Covert-Overt Continuums into six gradations–from Highly Covert to Highly Overt–that we believe are helpful in beginning to pray and think about what is most appropriate for an organization at a particular moment in time.

Most Integrity Ideas will have one place on the scale.  Some can vary depending on how they are implemented.  “Don’t Settle for Gold” can be Very Covert (an overtly faith-based action known only to the faithful leader) if it only involves a faithful leader attempting personally to live out the New Commandment with their employees.

If implemented organizationally,  “Don’t Settle for Gold” would move toward the Overt end of the Continuum because it contemplates an aspect of Proclamation.  Whether it is Overt (An overtly faith-based action known generally within the organization), Very Overt (an overtly faith-based action involving suppliers, vendors or customers) or Highly Overt (“an overtly faith-based action involving community, website, sales/marketing materials) depends upon how widely it is explained.

STAKEHOLDERS SERVED: Employees, Customers/Clients, Suppliers/Vendors

When we categorize faith-based actions, we also consider the stakeholders principally impacted by the action: Employees, Customers/Clients, Owners, Suppliers/Vendors, Community and Kingdom.

“Don’t Settle for Gold” has a broad impact because it impacts how the organization’s humans interact with each other and the world.  It principally serves Employees, Customers/Clients,  and Suppliers/Vendors.  They benefit from being touched by an organization with a WHY of maximizing the flourishing of people and being touched by humans who have been encouraged and supported in developing their communication and interpersonal skills.

A new commandment I give to you . . . (Jesus)

IMPLEMENTATION

We believe that “Don’t Settle for Gold” must start with the faithful leader and can be implemented through what we have called “Biblical EQ”.  It also requires an understanding of the “First Things” we discussed in posts #189 (Righteousness), 190 (Kingdom), 192 (Love), and 196 (Humility).  Living out the New Commandment means loving as God loves and leading as Jesus led.  Biblical EQ introduces “God awareness” about the person being loved so that they can be loved in the way they need, and the First Things introduce awareness about the manner in which God loves and Jesus leads.

Biblical EQ

The “emotional intelligence” or EQ model developed by Daniel Goleman has five aspects: empathy, social skill, self-awareness, self-regulation and motivation.  When you consider Biblical beliefs, principles and priorities–the foundation of faithful integrity and business a better way–it is clear that God invented “emotional intelligence” a long time ago.

Consider these passages:

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. (Col 4:6)

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer(Psa: 19:14)

Since implementing “Don’t Settle for Gold” should lead to employees feeling heard and cared for, let’s consider it using the mnemonic “MORALE” (something that will hopefully benefit from seeking to love people as God loves):

• “M” for MOTIVATION:  The word “heart” is a reminder that our heart is the source of our words.  We must honestly examine our motivations in our communications to ensure they are coming from a WHY that aligns with faithful integrity.  It must be to live the New Commandment and not to manipulate people into doing what we want them to do.

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart. (Matthew 15:18)

“Each person” is also a reminder that we need to understand the “heart” of the other.  In a culture of business a better way, we must start with the recognition that they were created in the image of God and reflect God imperfectly, just like us.

• “O” for OBEY:  The word “acceptable” tells us that our communication must be acceptable to God.  For that to be the case, we must choose our “O”–obedience or outcome.  We have a post devoted to that choice.  The kingdom of the world is focused on “outcome”–results.  That leads to manipulative conversations.  God’s Kingdom is focused on our “obedience”–leaving the outcome to God.  That leads to empathetic conversations motivated by love, justice, righteousness and mercy and characterized by humility.

• “R” for RESPOND:  The words “my rock and my redeemer” are a reminder that God will be with us as we “Respond” in alignment with Biblical expectations rather than “React” in accordance with worldly ones.

Know this, my beloved brothers: Let each person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. (James 1:19)

A gentle answer turns away wrath. (Proverbs 15:1)

• “A” for AUDIENCE:  The words “each person” means we need to tailor our speech to the “other” in the present situation.  We need to understand them (by “listening” and asking questions).  The words “your sight, O Lord” is a reminder that God is our primary audience and the source of our primary motivation–our WHY–which is to glorify God in all we do (Isaiah 43:7).  That includes communication.

• “L” for LISTEN:  The word “answer” means someone else spoke first.  That means we must learn to “listen”.  It is a key to “other-awareness”–a key to empathy.  “Listening” is a skill to be developed.  The word “meditation” reminds us that we need to “listen” to God.  That is a key to “God-awareness”—the distinguishing characteristic of “Biblical EQ”.

There’s a lot of difference between listening and hearing. (G.K. Chesterton)

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. (Stephen Covey)

• “E” for EMPATHIZE:   The words “gracious, seasoned with salt” point us to empathy, which is at the heart of “EQ”.   The path of MOTIVATION, OBEY, RESPOND, AUDIENCE and LISTEN opens a door to understanding and empathy, which is the path to grace.

These words are also a reminder that Biblical EQ requires grace seasoned with truth–not truth seasoned with a little grace.

GRACE: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up.” (1 Thess 5:11)

SALT: “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Prov 27:17)

Here is the difference between Biblical EQ and Worldly EQ.  Worldly EQ is “good”–we believe Biblical EQ is “best”.

Leading faithfully through business a better way requires cultivating an organizational culture that prioritizes relationships, community, human dignity, and flourishing.  You may recall one of our most-used quotes from James Hunter:

To manage a business in a way that grows out of a Biblical view of relationships, community and human dignity before God has divine significance, irrespective of what else might be done from this platform.

Healthy, empathetic communication is critical to raising those four priorities to their “best”.

We have also talked about the importance of creating a culture in which people feel engaged and connected. In his book Connection Culture: The Competitive Advantage of Shared Identity, Empathy, and Understanding at WorkMichael Stallard identifies Vision, Value and Voice as three keys to creating a culture of connection.   We believe communications that reflect Biblical EQ help immeasurably in helping people feel Valued (because it prioritizes understanding before seeking to be understood) and in helping people feel they have a Voice (because it prioritizes listening and understanding).

Every faithful leader seeking to lead with faithful integrity through business a better way should be praying and thinking about how to improve their own Biblical EQ and how to encourage and support the development of Biblical EQ in the humans they lead.  In that context, a Biblically-aligned approach to emotional intelligence is simply part of cultivating an organizational culture that reflects the higher bar of the New Commandment and, in so doing, Humanizes People, Beautifies the World and Glorifies God.

This will likely require providing thoughtful resources or making available third-party training.  One resource we can recommend is Relational Wisdom 360, which has been developed by our friend Ken Sande.  Ken was also the founder of Peacemaker Ministries. They describe “relational wisdom” as:

[R]elational wisdom may be defined as your ability to discern emotions, interests and abilities in yourself and others, to interpret this information in the light of God’s Word, and to use these insights to manage your responses and relationships successfully.

A faithful leader seeking to grow the “emotional intelligence” of those they lead will need to consider choices such as: what resources to utilize; to whom should they be offered; whether to make the training mandatory or optional; if optional, whether it is offered during work hours or as a resource to be used during personal time; and if mandatory, how to accommodate people who are uncomfortable with the Biblical element.

A faithful leader is likely to face a challenge if they roll “Don’t Settle for Gold” out to all employees.  That challenge comes from explaining to employees, and possibly vendors, suppliers, customers and the world, that the organization believes in a critical third dimension to “emotional intelligence”–the importance of Biblical beliefs, principles and priorities and God-awareness.  It may be met with resistance.  John 16:33 says “In the world you will have tribulation.” “Don’t Settle for Gold” is part of seeking the BIGGER Kingdom in a broken world.

It is a decision that must be taken prayerfully, remembering the faithful leader’s duty to steward well the organization God has given them to lead.  Although prayer can take many different forms, depending on the discernment of the leader and the existing culture of the leadership team and the organization, the same God who calls leaders to lead with faithful integrity through business a better way will be present to guide, equip and protect those who are called.

Proclamation (and the extent of Proclamation) must come from a spirit of faithful obedience rather than a spirit of pride.  If the faithful leader discerns through prayer that obedience calls for the Proclamation aspect of “Don’t Settle for Gold”, then as we have written many times, the faithful leader must trust.  The Bible should never be used to cloak a prideful gesture.

John 16:33 assures us that we can have “peace” and that Jesus has “overcome the world“.  Leading an organization with faithful integrity through business a better way in the face of resistance requires faith, and faith requires trust in God.  Trust in God is trust in His sovereignty and promises and trust in his commands.  He is faithful.

First Things

There are four key Biblical principles that we believe are the “first things” that a faithful leader needs to “keep first” in order to lead with faithful integrity through business a better way toward Biblical flourishing.  Business as usual — business in “the way of the world” or, more precisely, according to “the kingdom of this world”–generally puts “second things first”.  The four are:

• Righteousness

• Kingdom

• Love

• Humility

These key Biblical principles that form the foundation of Integriosity® are embedded in the word itself: Integrity (and its components Righteousness and Kingdom) and Generosity (and its components Love and Humility).

Righteousness. As explained in post #189, we believe the First Thing of Righteousness boils down to living out our God-given purpose by living generously through loving others and stewarding creation–as the driving purpose and not just a socially conscious add-on to Profit as Purpose. It is acting to maximize flourishing (rather than profit).

Tim Keller (quoting Bible scholar Bruce Waltke) says “The very definition of righteous people is that they disadvantage themselves to advantage others.”  Living generously is living sacrificially–choosing to give something up or to fore-go a benefit because it benefits another person or the common good–because it represents faithful integrity.  Living generously as God loves is what raises the bar even higher than Bennett’s Platinum Rule.

The Platinum Rule adds empathy but not necessarily sacrifice.  Remember Bennett’s qualifier: “we may not want to or be able to provide the treatment” others need or desire.  The New Commandment calls faithful leaders to a higher standard.  It calls us to ask how God loves and Jesus led and how we can reflect that love and leadership to others, even if it means giving up something the world says we do not need to give up.

Kingdom. As explained in post #190, it is only through the First Thing of Kingdom that a faithful leader understands God’s purpose for work and business, the dignity of each person, and the leader’s role as a steward of the organization and the people they lead.  With that stewardship comes a responsibility to help those people live out their God-given purpose, including by living out the New Commandment.

Love. The New Commandment is all about love.  As explained in post #192, the First Thing of Love helps us see that a business is a creation of God’s image-bearers that serves as a platform for those image-bearers to become more human, beautify the world and, in so doing, glorify God. One way they do that is by living out the New Commandment, and they are more likely to live it out if they see it being lived out by their leaders and understand that living it out is part of the organization’s culture.

A training we highly recommend in helping people love others as God loves them is the training offered by Dr. Mark Fee and First Loved Ministries.  It is explicitly about loving like Jesus loves us and would have to be offered as an optional training.

Humility.  As explained in post #196, the First Thing of Humility is the key to understanding the “HOW” of the other three “first things”–Righteousness, Kingdom and Love–and it is a key to Wisdom.  Humility gives a faithful leader the perspective necessary in order to see the Imago Dei in, and the unique gifts of, other employees and live generously toward them.

For a faithful leader, the workplace is a place of discipleship—a daily opportunity to live out Biblical beliefs, principles and priorities in real-time and to cultivate an organizational culture that calls and equips people to live in alignment with their divine design. The Golden Rule is a great place to start, but Jesus raised the bar–calling us to live generously by loving as God loves and leading as he led–leading as a shepherd and as a servant.

PERSONAL NOTE (from PM):  I can’t talk about the New Commandment without remembering a time with Mark Fee, and I can’t talk about the Golden Rule without remembering a comment made at a Planning & Zoning Commission in our town.  First the good.

Mark Fee, the founder of First Loved Ministries, was the spiritual guide for a New Canaan Society New England Regional Retreat.  First Loved Ministries is all about helping people experience God’s love, because we can’t share what we don’t have.  We can’t live out the New Commandment without having experienced God’s love.  Mark brought two men up to the front.  I’ll call them Joe and Jim.  Mark asked Joe to love Jim as Mark had loved Joe.  Joe stood there staring at Jim and Mark not knowing what to do.  Mark then embraced Joe and asked him again to love Jim as Mark had loved him.  Joe then embraced Mark.  The New Commandment in action.

Now for the bad.  A representative of our school district presenting to the Planning & Zoning Commission summarized the “Golden Rule” in Fairfield County, CT: “He who has the most gold makes the rules.”  It was the Golden Rule of the kingdom of the world.

ESSENCE:  Integrity Ideas are specific actions a faithful leader can consider in leading faithfully through business a better way.

INTEGRITY IDEA: Don’t Settle for “Gold”

“Don’t Settle for Gold” is about cultivating an organizational culture in which people are motivated and equipped to go beyond the Golden Rule in human interactions. It is helping people recognize the Imago Dei in others and live the “new commandment” to love others as God has loved them, not merely as they would like to be loved. It recognizes that Jesus raised the bar with that “new commandment” and way to love.  It also recognizes that the pursuit of faithful integrity through business a better way toward Biblical flourishing requires embedding Biblical concepts of relationships, community, human dignity, and flourishing into the organization’s culture.  For a faithful leader seeking to lead with faithful integrity, “Don’t Settle for Gold” requires an understanding of the importance of healthy communication and interpersonal skills to the functioning of an organization of humans and to the interactions of those humans with all the people the organization touches. We believe that “Don’t Settle for Gold” must start with the faithful leader and can be implemented through what we have called “Biblical EQ”.  It also requires a faithful leader to “keep first” the “first things” of Righteousness, Kingdom, Love, and Humility.

COVERT-OVERT CONTINUUM (six Continuums for action):  Practices

COVERT-OVERT RATING (several levels from Highly Covert to Highly Overt):  Very Covert

STAKEHOLDERS SERVED: Employees, Customers/Clients, Suppliers/Vendors

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Photo credit: Original image by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
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